No worries!
…and other ways I try to appear light and breezy.
If you are in need of gift ideas for me (my birthday is coming up in August), might I suggest a t-shirt that says “Easy Breezy.” If I have a super power, it is probably “not rocking the boat.” I could easily join The Avengers as Captain Go-With-The-Flow. Then, whenever we would gather to make a plan for saving the world, I would just nod along and shout “SOUNDS GOOD THOR.”
I think I’ve pretty much always been this way. I was never the most popular girl in school, so I worked hard at being the girl no one disliked. I didn’t have the sparkle of a homecoming queen, but I could quietly go along to get along. The combination of Midwestern values, messages I received about how to be a good girl, and my own personal neurosis made me like this.
Some of my most frequently used phrases and gestures to keep things light and breezy include:
No worries! - Best used in text messages to assure everyone that I do not feel even one single worry because of your rejection or failing.
Just let me know… - When trying to wrangle information I need out of someone, I tend to drop this into emails. I find the use of “just” keeps things nice and casual.
Phone voice - I like to swear I don’t do this, but my husband tells me otherwise. For those not familiar, this is when you pitch your voice up and add all the cheerfulness you can muster. Best used on customer service reps and service providers.
You’re fine! - I say this a lot in response to someone else saying, “excuse me,” (which I also say all the time). It’s my way of assuring the person who nearly knocked me over that they couldn’t possibly be at fault for the near collision.
small smile behind my mask - Constantly having to verbally acknowledge every person I encounter can be exhausting. Instead, I lean heavily on a tiny smile and an almost whispered, “hi.” This obviously signals how nice and friendly I am. All of this has been rendered pointless by masks, but I keep doing it anyway.
I just want to be liked. I don’t want to be a hassle. I’m chill. I’m relaxed. I’m easy to be around and fun to hang out with. It is my blessing and my curse, this easy breezy aura I try so hard to put off.
Nothing takes the easy and breezy out of life quite like having a baby during a global pandemic. After months of attempting to work full-time from home while also being a stay-at-home mom, everything was feeling pretty hard and crappy (in more ways than one). I could feel myself slipping. I was irritable and anxious all the time. Pandemic isolation meant that not many people saw me crack, but the couple who did had to wait for me to stumble through my normal niceties before I could actually say what I was feeling and ask for what I needed. It wasn’t an easy breezy season, and it lasted much longer than I would have liked. I cried a lot, in public bathrooms, my car, the shower, and most embarrassingly, sometimes in work meetings. I asked for help from a few people, but retreated from the rest. I’m pretty sure I was anything but a good hang.
Years of trying not to rock the boat couldn’t save me from the storm that was coming.
In so many ways I have returned to my normal easy breezy way of life in recent months. Today, when I sent my most recent “no worries!” text, I paused. For just a second I realized that I actually was a little disappointed that things didn’t work out just the way I had hoped. I didn’t dare tell the other person that…yet. Can’t have them thinking I’m some kind of high-maintenance friend with actual emotions. But still, I noticed, and that felt like progress.
